How To Annoy A
by FreedomxSparks
Summary: I got bored and dicided to use my spare time to torture our beloved A2A characters! Rated T...because I said so.
1. How to annoy a Gene

Author's Note: I strongly advise you do not try any of the things I have thought up of, they were random thoughts in a boring science lesson and I'm pretty sure Gene'll end up making you eat your own thumbs.

Don't say I didn't warn ya.

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1) Make constant blonde jokes around him.

2) Key the Quattro.

3) Repeat the following sentence whenever you can 'It's because your gay, isn't it?'

4) Collect everything that has his last name on it and change the H to a C.

5) Poke him.

6) When he yells at you, come up with a very deep logical reason behind your poking.

7) Flirt with Alex.

8) Tell him that one day, girls will be chasing after sparkly vampires, not overweight, over-the-hill, nicotine-stained, borderline-alcoholic homophobes with a superiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding.

9) Replace his hip flasks for bottles of Vimto.

10) Half way through one of his rants, stand up and walk out saying 'I'm bored, where's Keats? He's always a good laugh...'

11) Tell him that Boy George has more of a chance will Alex than he does.

13) Say 'Manchester, that's somewhere in France...right?'

14) Tell him it's compulsory for paperwork to be done while listening to Duran Duran and wearing pink socks.

15) Hug him.

16) Repeat number 15 whenever he has a drink.

17) Damn, that's a _lot _of hugs.

18) Whenever he takes out a cigarette yell 'CANCER!' over and over again.

19) Constantly say 'Sooooooo...have ya kissed Alex yet?'

20) Write 'LOL' on his forehead while he sleeps.

21) Insist on calling the Quattro 'The Gene-mobile'

22) Repeat the following sentences whenever you can 'Keats won't like that.' 'You pout like a girl' 'Oh, I am _so _telling Alex on you' and 'Stay out of Camberwick Green, damnit!'

23) Give Ray and Chris a bottle of Diet Coke and a packet of mints and get them to mix the two together.

24) Inside his office.

25) After every joke he comes out with, say the following words: 'Aaah, nothing like northern futility '

26) Put Skittles in his beer.

27) When he yells at you, shout back 'TASTE THE RAINBOW, BITCH!'

28) Call him a man-whore.

29) Threaten to show Alex his doodles of her.

30) Call him 'Alex's work bitch'

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Let me know if you want me to annoy any other characters!


	2. How to annoy an Alex

As requested, I did another list! Now it's our beloved Alex's turn -cackles-

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**How to annoy an Alex**

1) Show her what Galex is.

2) Show _Gene _what Galex is.

3) Lock them in his office with several pages of even _more _Galex.

4) Call her 'The Almighty Fun-Killer'

5) Get the whole of CID to call her that too.

6) Make up rumours about her and Ray.

7) Whenever somthing from the future comes on the telly, yawn and switch it over.

8) Insist that it's all getting a bit same-y.

9) Burn the entire contents of her wardrobe.

10) Let Gene pick out her new clothes.

11) Holy mother of Jesus, that _is_ evil.

12) Put Luigi's pasta in the pockets of her white leather jacket.

13) Pin one of her bra's to the door to Gene's office.

14) Join forces with Ray and spread reasons how it got up there.

15) Ask her if she's hooked up with Gene.

16) Ask her if she's hooked up with Keats.

17) Say, 'For someone that always dresses like a tart, your private life is exsteamly boring'

18) Everytime she pours herself a glass of wine, yell 'Don't worry Alex's liver, I'll save you!' and throw the glass across the room.

19) Aim for Keats if possible and blame it on her.

20) Warn her that if she _does _hook up with Keats, he is actually Satan himself and it would be a tad bit tense if they broke up.

21) Laugh and say 'Only joking, we all know your already with Gene'

22) Insist you've got a load of Galex supporters on FanFiction so she can''t deniy it.

23) If she tries to anylise you, jump up and down and insist your a bright green post-it note.

24) She'll probbably try and get you some prescription pills after that. Plant them on her desk to make her look like an addict.

25) Write the number twenty five on some bright green post-it notes and put them al laround her desk.

26) Everytime she mentions Phycology, throw your hands in the air and yell 'It's pyciatry!'

27) Replace the post-it notes with ones that say 'The Almighty Fun-Killer'

28) Every five seconds state 'Gene's staring at your arse again'

29) Followed by 'Now Keats is joining in'

30) Say 'THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!' whenever she finshes a sentence.

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Ta-da? Tell me what you think guys, I think I rushed it a little :/


	3. How to annoy a Keats

**How To Annoy A Keats**

**(a/n The author would like you too know that she shall carry out everything on this list and invites others to join her, should she ever get shot in the head and end up in 1983. That is all.)**

1) Paint the lenses of his glasses Pink.

2) Tell him that he has no friends..._**constantly**_

3) Remind him that there are no such things as 'Kalex Shippers'

4) ...Because he has no friends.

5) Tell him that the nearest he'll ever get to a friendly nickname is Gene calling him 'Jimbo'...and _his_nickname blows his completely out of the water.

6) So basically...he has no friends.

7) After every time Gene insults him, sneer and say, 'YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH'

8) Wipe your brow and say, 'Phew, it's as hot as hell in here!'

9) Shiver and say, 'God, it's as cold as death!'

10) Give him a head band with devil horns on it.

11) Say that Alex is into that kind of thing.

12) Laugh and say, 'Only joking, she hates your guts.'

13) Challenge him to a drinking game.

14) Get the whole of CID to tease him when he declines.

15) Tell him Alex only goes after _REAL_ men.

16) Like Gene.

17) Not him.

18) Say, 'So, if your _really _Satan, then why are you so dull?'

19) Tell him that Gene isn't dull.

20) In fact, tell him Gene has fan girls.

21) And he hasn't.

22) Because _HE'S SO BLOODY DULL!_

23) Tell him he has a strange laugh.

24) Ask why he has a strange laugh.

25) Say, 'Is that a demon thing?'

26) Ask why demons have strange laughs.

27) Interrupt him suddenly and say 'Wow. And I thought BBC Four was dull.'

28) Constantly say how epic Gene is.

29) And the Quattro, don't forget the Quattro. It's way cooler than Keats could ever hope to be.

30) Finally say casually, 'So everybody trusted Gene in the end and left you...better luck next time, eh?'

* * *

Hey guys! I also know how to annoy a reader! Mention Fanfiction in a Fanfiction! Apparently they don't like it =P


	4. How to annoy a Ray

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND! And your confused Fanfiction in Fanfiction inquiries make me smile =3 I had a random flamer have a go at me for mentioning Galex.

I love you guys, just sayin'

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**How To Annoy A Ray**

1) Tell him that _no one _wants to sleep with him.

2) _**NO ONE!**_

3) Shave off his moustashe.

4) Actually, leave it on. I've just thought up of ways to torture him with it!

5) Plait it.

6) Put beads in it.

7) Dye it ginger.

8) Show Gene.

9) Show any woman that he actually manages to chat up.

10) Ok, _now _you can shave it off.

11) Tell him that you weren't sure if he actually _had_ a top lip.

12) Tell him that you spread rumours about him and Alex to piss her off, followed by 'See? Nobody wants you!'

13) Pin a sign to his back saying 'Man Whore'

14) Ask him if he's got anything hidden in that great mass of curls on his head.

15) Tell him that perms aren't manly at all.

16) And that you overheard something about him and Viv.

17) Say your very happy for them.

18) So, turns out someone _did _want to sleep with him! =O

19) Tell Gene about them.

20) Hell, tell the whole _station_ about them!

21) Say he'll have a load of fangirls chasing after him!

22) Insist that he looks like a porn star.

23) And no, that's _not _a good thing!

24) Remember when I told you


End file.
